How To Improve Your Calibration

I gotta tell you that I'm constantly hearing guys talk about
calibration.

But what does calibration REALLY mean in relation to dating?

You could open the dictionary and easily look up a dozen
different definitions for the word.

But there is one in particular I think all Pickup Artists should
memorize:


cal·i·brate [kal-uh-breyt] -verb

-to determine the correct range for (an artillery gun, mortar,
etc.) by observing where the fired projectile hits.



Please read that again because it is a perfect analogy for what we
are trying to accomplish in a seduction.

Every guru and their mother make reference to calibration but tend
to be extremely vague when talking about how to IMPROVE
IT.

I've heard all sorts of crap, everything from "You just have to
practice more" to "Calibration can't be taught, that's why
naturals are naturals."

Such bullshit. If I could put a sound effect in right now it would
be that annoying buzzer from Family Feud.

Of course calibration can be improved! And I'm going to show you a
technique that will do it.

It's called:


'Imaginary Action Reversal'


In a nutshell it's quite simple...


Before you start down a risky conversational topic, send a text
message, make a phone call, go in for the kiss, or any other
assortment of actions you might take with a woman, it is useful to
IMAGINE that whatever you are about to do...she does to
you instead!


Then ask yourself:

"Did I just get MORE attracted or LESS attracted to her?"

And finally, allow your intuitive response to guide your
decision whether or not to make the move.

Think about it...

Who is the best judge you have to determine if an action is
'attractive' or not?

You guessed it, it's YOU.

I know men are from Mars and woman are from Jupiter or whatever,
but we sure got a lot of things in common and one of those things is
definitely attraction. 

Behavior that normally turns me off, usually turns a woman off.
And behavior that normally turns me on, usually turns a woman on. 

We are not as different as society has us believe.


So if you'd like to take your own calibration to the next level,
here is a quick recap of the steps:


1. You get an impulse to say or do something that relates to her

2. You imagine HER saying or doing it to YOU

3. You pay attention to your own emotional response (to the image)
and let the quality of your response determine whether or not you
go through with the action


Easy as Pie.


Practicing this exercise is simple, fun, and an amazingly
effective way of developing pin-point calibration.


               Have fun,

Julian

 
PS:  Depending on the situation, the amount of TIME you have to use
the technique is a factor.  You don't want to interrupt the 
flow of a good conversation if you don't have to. 
 
Just be confident that the more comfortable you become with 
Imaginary Action Reversal, the faster you will get, and eventually
it will become something you are always subliminally aware of.

The Basics Of Disqualification‏

This week we're going to be talking about

the basics of disqualification.

Barriers build attraction. If you look at romance

novels, romantic movies, even Shakespearean love

stories. There is always a reason why the man and

woman cannot be together.

Barriers also create space for further escalation.

Try telling a woman you want to have sex with her

before kissing her, then tell her you're not going to

have sex with her before trying to kiss her.

Tell me which one works better.

Disqualifiers should always be fixable.

A good example of a disqualifier is telling a

woman you don't date girls you meet in bars.

A bad disqualifier is telling a girl that you are gay

. Disqualifiers have to be something women can break down.

Women should be aware that you're flirting with

them when you use a disqualifier. If the girl actually

thinks you don't like her, you did it wrong.

Don't get sucked into a conversation about the disqualifying

comment. The only exception is when it helps you escalate

the interaction.

It's a good idea to combine disqualifiers with sexually

escalating comments. For example you can tell a girl

" It's too bad I don't know you well enough to tell you,

what I'm thinking right now..."

Disqualifiers are also great for baiting women.

You can disqualify a girl for being " not for real"

or a "player" and watch how quickly they will want to know why.

It's a good idea to smile and touch while you're disqualifying.

Disqualifying is mainly for the attraction

phase and for masking escalations.

Hope that helps you guys,

S

Baiting and Cold Reads‏

Since I am the UNQUESTIONED king of

Day Game, I wanted to talk about how to

apply a great tactic to a common day time

approach.

Today we're going to look at a common

Scenario, a woman walking down the street

That you want to talk, you've started a conversation,

But don't know what to do next.

Let's look at how you can apply cold reading and

Bait to the interaction.

S: Hey I know this is REALLY random, but I noticed

you and I wanted to come meet you. I'm Jon.

J: I'm Jenny

S: You know I'm not even sure I should tell you say this, (Bait)

but, you're definitely not originally from LA. You have a total

NY vibe(Cold Read), I can tell by your...(Non Verbal Bait)

Ok so here I am using bait to get her to try to get

her to ask me what I might not say.

Then I give her a small cold read.

The purpose of this cold read is just to get

her talking back and contributing

I trail my voice off as if I can't quite put

my finger on how I knew that, the girl

will usually ask how I knew.

J: Yeah I'm from Chicago originally. How'd you know?

Here she gives me some information,

I can use to move the conversation forward

(Chicago and all things Chicago related, moving here, etc)

and she responds to the bait

S: I could just tell from the way you walk and,

you know I travel a lot for what I do(BAIT),

which I hate and I could just tell you're not an

LA girl. Plus you don't have the typical LA girl

uniform on (BAIT)

Here I bait her into asking me what I do,

As well as cold read her again as different

than most LA girls, which is an integral plotline

to romance. Finally I bait her to ask me

to tell her what LA girl uniform is.

None of this stuff is mind blowing, but little, applications

of technique like these, lead to much better results in the

Real World.

Best,

JS- The King Of Content

The Basics of Reverse Qualification‏

Today, I'm gonna be breaking

down, a topic that's pretty important

and almost never talked about.

That topic is Reverse Qualification.

Reverse Qualification is when after

Getting a girl to qualify herself,

You get her to qualify why she likes

You.

This goes against the basic tenet of

pickup "Don't qualify yourself."

Reverse Qualification is important,

Because it forces the girl to start

Thinking about why she likes you.

It's a bad idea to try to get the girl to

Qualify you early on, but after

You have attraction and have

Made her jump through some hoops,

You'll want to get her to commit to

Liking you.

I say something like

" Besides that I'm hot,

and we'd have

melt the paint off the walls sex,

why do you like me?"

Now, what the woman responds with is

Less Important than her effort in trying

To respond. If she doesn't say anything,

and just laughs, you may have some

flaking issues in your future. If

however she respond with anything,

joke or otherwise, that tells you she likes,

you, it's on.

If she does qualify why she likes you,

Be sure to reward her, with either

a compliment or an statement of intent.

Reverse Qualification, works on the psychological

Principle of commitment and consistency.

Once a woman says she likes you or gives you

A reason she likes you. She will be more likely to

Call you back, go on a date with you and ultimately

Sleep with you.

Hope that helps,

JS- The King Of Content

How to Kiss a Women for The First Time - The Almost Kiss

Hey guys,

Today is your lucky day!

That's because today, I'm going to dig into

\my top secret vault of dating tactics and techniques,

and share my favorite way to kiss a woman for the first time.

The Almost Kiss.

The Almost Kiss is a great technique because it actually gets

the girl to kiss you first, most of the time. I'd say in the 80-90%

range if you do it right. It also helps build a huge amount of sexual

tension. I've seen some other versions out there floating around but

this will be the original one I learned from my friend Thom.

Without further Ado, here's how you use The Almost Kiss routine.

First you should have been talking to the girl for at least 25 minutes.

Kissing(especially in clubs) is not a big deal and can happen almost

immediately if attraction is there. However, you don't want to kiss

her too soon because she may regret it later.

Second you need to make sure you are having a one on one

conversation with the girl. It's a bad idea to try to do this in

front of her friends, as it makes her look bad. If you need an

excuse to get her away from her friends try saying this.

" I'm gonna go get another drink at the bar. Keep me company."

Then while she's talking you need to interrupt and say something

like this " Hey, I'm really sorry, but I'm having a REALLY hard

time paying attention to what you're saying. I'm really just thinking

about kissing you. And I know we're not ready for that , but here's

what we're going to do. We're going to do an almost kiss."

Now here she will probably ask you what an almost kiss is.

Explain that the two of you are going to get as close as possible

without kissing. Ideally you should be able to feel her breath on

your lips when you do this.

Before you actually go in for the almost kiss, you need to make

her pinky swear she's not going to kiss you.

Hold the almost kiss for 2-3 seconds and then lightly and playfully

push her away and say " That's all you get!"

Now here's where the genius comes in. After the first time you do

an almost kiss, you go back to normal conversation. Then 5,10 or

15 minutes later you tell her you're ready for another almost kiss.

The second time the girl will almost always break and kiss you first.

The sexual tension just becomes unbearable to the girl, so she releases

it by kissing you first. That's why I love this routine, because when

the girl kisses you first she thinks it's her idea. Plus it takes all the

guess work out of when you have to make a move.

So the next time you're stuck and don't know when or how to

kiss a girl, try an almost kiss. She might just kiss you first.

Talk to you soon

JS- The King Of Content

How To Get Good With Women FAST

Learning Game The Fastest Way Possible:

Even though I’ve been a dating coach for a while now, most nights when I go out I still get approach anxiety. After talking to the other love systems dating coaches, I’ve found that most do. I’ve found writing out goals, a really great process that helps me overcome approach anxiety and additionally helps me implement new pieces to my game easily. People think they are not improving because they are telling brain what is supposed to do faster than it can implement. This leads to frustration and causes you to lose interest in going out because your brain overestimates how many attempts it has made.

On Braddock’s suggestion I read Brian Tracey’s Book Psychology of Achievement, which has some amazing sections on goal setting, which I’ve applied to game. Also from Braddock I stopped reading everything I could get and started spending 2 hours in-field implementing for every hour I spent reading which we’ll cover later. I actually started setting and measuring goals in this way in another area of my life before I read Brian Tracey’s book to overcome limiting beliefs. Before game and before learning to work out properly I used to be extremely shy, and extremely skinny, and I thought I would live and die that way because I started so many workouts and did not seem to make any real progress in strength or weight gains. I figured I was stuck being a twig. I’d learn everything about a new workout program workout for what seemed like months and my bench would maybe go from 85lbs to 100lbs. I would get frustrated at the paltry gains and give up.

I had stopped working out and my body weakened back to an 85lb bench based on the belief that I just couldn’t get big. Then I joined a sport that I really enjoyed but that requires a lot of strength and conditioning (boxing). As a team we tested and recorded how much we could lift to get a baseline on where we were starting. Based on this we used formulas to determine weekly goals and a final goal based on 3 total months of training. As usual I didn’t seem to be making any gains… maybe 5lbs more than normal based on this new system so I was up to 105lbs on bench. But then I looked back through my workout log and realized I had only worked out 12 times in 3 weeks. Which comes out to 6.5lbs per week, putting me on track to go up around 80lbs in 3 months to 165 or nearly double where I started.

By writing out my goals my actual progress was put into perspective, normally negative beliefs would cloud my judgment, but by writing my goals down I realized I was making huge gains, even though negative thoughts were trying to convince me I had been working out for 2 months, it was only 3 weeks. Seeing the FACT that I had gone to the gym only 12 times and progressed faster than my goal of 5lbs per week made me even MORE enthusiastic about hitting the gym and I ended up beating all my goals at the end of 3 months.

Many times people starting out in game or even guys who have been out there for a while forget their baseline. They only think in terms of sex as a final motive, “Oh, I went out and didn’t get laid again… I’m not getting any better even after half a year”. But in reality they’ve only been going out for 2 months and even though it feels like they are doing 20 sets per night 4 nights a week, they have actually only gone out 1.5 nights and opened maybe 2-3 sets per night on average (including the nights they got huge anxiety and just stood there all night). So all told 12 times and 24-36 sets… not a lot.

How do we overcome this distorted feedback?

Hopefully it’s obvious by now, but you need to WRITE out QUANTITATIVE goals… I know what you’re thinking, “But Helicase, I don’t need to write it down I can just think it”. You’re doing it wrong if you’re not writing them down. You are not getting the maximum benefit, and it may help you for a night, but you will forget it. Genius’ do things repeatedly, they do something once and their brain records it and it is set as a default for next time. This is how naturals get good; their brain is able to repeat the process every time. YOU can NOT do this, or I would have seen you at Harvard this past weekend stealing girls from me.. (And I didn’t because if I did I would have gotten your info, learned from you and broken your game down to teach to students.)

But there is an easy way to replicate what genius’ do. WRITE IT DOWN.

Alright let’s get this boiling:

Write out quantitative goals.

Quantitative goals have NUMBERS… (re-read this 3 times and attach it to goals)

i.e. I want to approach 10 sets tonight, I want to do 3 warm up sets

So the basic structure that I use and that really helped students this weekend in Boston was to set up a total number of sets they wanted to open including warm ups. And also include the number of times they were going to use certain transitions (i.e. Good girl bad girl 5 times – & – Finger Length Routine 5 times.) on the first night and number of times they were going to use a specific routine (i.e. handshake routine 5 times and Body guard role-play 5 times). You can also set the goal of “I’m going to learn x routine by using it every single set for 2 nights, 10 sets per night:

1. Write Long and Short Term Goals

1. 1. Short Term:
      1. Detailed below in number 2, basically what you’ll refer to on a nightly basis
   2. Long Term:
      1. Take your short-term goals and decide how many times you want to accomplish your short-term goal.
      2. *Example*: Let’s say your short-term goal is to open 10 sets per night: Goal: Open 10 Sets Per Night for 10 nights by going out 2 times per week for 5 weeks. 100 Approaches total.
      3. Completing your short-term goal 10 times by going out 2 nights per week for 5 weeks is your long-term goal.

2. Writing good warm up goals: Warm up EVERY NIGHT (credit Braddock). We want to use warm up sets to GRADUALLY increase the amount of social pressure we’re putting on ourselves. Start with the easiest people to talk to and work up to the hardest. It’s just like a warm up when you work out, Arnold could bench 500lbs but he always warmed up with the bar and slowly worked his way up to that weight. So think of some people who are easy to talk to ________________________________? “Hey how’s your night going?” is something I ask probably 5-10 people before I approach the first girl in the bar. I usually buy gum and chat with the clerk chat with my cab driver, chat with the door guy about the venue or weather, girls in line, the list goes on and on.

1. 1. Store clerks, cabbies, random people on the street
   2. Guys who work at the venue (casual convo)
   3. Guys who are just hanging out but don’t work there (casual convo)
   4. Girls who work there (light compliments & teases)
   5. Girls who DON’T work there (causal convo and light game)

f. **An example** 3 warm up sets: 1 male worker, 2 girls You need to include numbers for everything, 3 warm-ups is NOT good enough.

g. I also start with the easiest things to say: functional questions: how’s your night? Do you know what time it is? Do you know where x,y,z is? Then move to something harder like Light compliments: Cool Shoes man, Cool Shirt man, Cute shoes, etc. Then finally move into openers and teasing.

3. Set goals for NON warm up approaches.

a. If you’re starting out be realistic about your current experience, i.e. take a good baseline. If you’ve never gone out before don’t try to do 20 sets your first night. What is a good goal? Take your current baseline and add 50% so if you’re at 4 per week set the goal to do 6 approaches this week (50% of 4 =2 4+2=6 . And 9 the next, 14 the next and 20 the next etc. Multiply what you’re currently doing by 1.5 you’ve got your new goal.

b. The KEY here is to take an accurate baseline of what you’re ACTUALLY doing. The brain likes to distort reality to protect your ego. In food studies people skewed the amount they thought they ate by HUGE percentages so they could avoid responsibility for their weight. So be brutally honest with yourself if you want to make real progress. GO OUT AND ACTUALLY RECORD THE NUMBER

4. How do I use this to add new pieces to my game the smart and efficient way?

a. Setting goals for number of approaches is great if you’re learning to open and/or trying to get over early night jitters, but what if most of your sets are hooking? GREAT! You should still set goals for the night, but if you’ve got opening and transitioning mastered, Start setting goals for how many times you’re going to use a specific piece of material.

b. So let’s say you’re like me and you’re adding dating coach Braddock’s Take-aways and Boundaries & DaHunter’s Sexual Hoops to your game. My goal is to open 6 sets per night, and use take-aways in 3 of them and to use sexual hoops in 3 of them. Having this written down keeps me excited about approaching. Instead of thinking oh what if she blows me out I’m focused on… I really want to try out sexual-hoops, I really want to practice my take-aways.

c. Another example when you’re getting past the goals of opening and transitioning would be “use the marriage role-play in 4 sets tonight, and ask for phone numbers in at least 3 sets”. Even if you don’t have the perfect opportunity to ask for a number forcing yourself to ask prepares you for when you do have a great set in the future.

5. Keeping Track. The end of your goals should be a space labeled RESULTS. Write down how many sets you did, and how many times you implemented a specific skill you’re trying to learn. If you keep getting stuck remember where you went wrong and think of what you could have said or done because when it comes up again your brain will default to what you wrote and you will improve like crazy!

Writing all of these goals down and referring back to them will help keep you focused on building solid game from the beginning of the emotional progression model to the end. Mastering each step then adding the next is the fastest way to learn game and setting and recording your goals is the best way to hold yourself to it, keep it fun, and see how fast you improve.

Why does this help so much? Because the brain is a goal seeking entity and by setting small goals you get a shot of dopamine every time you check one off. Setting small goals like this will turn learning game into a slightly less habit-forming version of crack. You will have something to be happy about every night, this changes you from a glass half empty guy, straight into a Glass is overflowing guy.

I learned most of this from Braddock and DaHunter as well as Brian Tracey. We tried it out at Mr. M’s last bootcamp and it really seemed to help students stay on track and not get lost. And remember for every hour spent reading material spend 2 hours in the field.

Goal 1: Write out quantitative Goals for 1 Month.

Goals:

Results:

Have fun,

-Helicase

Make a Girl Laugh

What do Women Find Funny?

For the longest time, I thought I knew what it took to make women laugh. I thought I knew how to be funny to girls, that I knew all of the jokes they wanted. I thought all women wanted was the same kinds of jokes that men did. You know, the sarcastic wit and ironic punch lines that all guys like. Comedy is supposed to be universal after all, right?

Wrong.

All I looked around at the guys that were getting girls, I was noticing that the guys, in most cases, didn’t need to have a great sense of humor. Or even be funny at all. The secret was something else completely.

What do women find funny?

I sought at to answer this question some time ago by reading a few books. One of these books suggested that women want a guy who is cocky-funny, using a barrage of sarcasm to almost bully women into liking you. It made sense to me at the time, so I tried it out. Big mistake.

I ended up getting a few women to like me using this approach. Since it seemed to be working, I tried to use this on every woman I saw. Big mistake.

What I learned was that the women I was using this strategy on were the more “tomboy” side of the group, the girls who are generally more masculine. While that’s all well and good, what occurred to me was that, by only attracting this small minority of women, I was leaving a huge percentage of women still on the table. Right off the bat, by using this method, most women hated me. I needed to change things up.

That’s when I started to focus on watching my friend Will. Will is not who I’d call the wittiest or funniest guy around, but he always seemed to have a great rapport with women. Girls were always around him, maybe not rolling on the ground in stitches, but always with a playful smile on their face. What was his secret?

Watching him, I realized that he had what I’d like to call a “playground” or “fourth grade” sensibility when it came to humor. He would tell knock-knock jokes, or playfully tickle the girls. Instead of being the greatest comic of all time, he was just out there having fun with the girls, and that’s what they were responding to. And that’s when it hit me:

Girls don’t want funny, they want fun.

Buy why?

A simple process for making girls laugh

Look around for a moment and realize what girls are laughing at. They’re not heading out to the latest dark indie movie or listening to the new Louis CK album. (If they are, good for them, but this is a rare thing.) They’re going out to the latest romantic comedy and having a good time. There’s a reason romantic comedies are geared towards a female audience. That’s what they respond to!

In the same way, don’t let your humor be too sophisticated or clever. It’ll just look like you’re trying too hard and girls don’t respond to guys who are out there trying to act “cool”. They respond to guys who are just being themselves. Especially if they themselves are fun.

Think about it: If you tell a hard-to-follow joke to a girl, she will sit there for a moment confused, trying to figure out your joke. That moment of her figuring-it-out, even if it’s a great joke, is a moment that takes her out of the moment. She just wants to respond to the fun that you’re exuding, not worry about whether or not she’s getting the joke. Again fun, not funny.

Playground humor never gets old. Just imagine you’re two fourth-graders out on the playground at recess. Back then it was just about simple jokes and having a fun time. This is the kind of atmosphere you want to provide for the girl.

The “mouse race”

One of my favorite ways to bring about this playground sensibility is a little bar game called the “mouse race”. Simply take a pen and put it on a girl’s arm. Explain to her that you are going to show her a race between three mice. Say “and here goes the blind mouse, so tell him when you want him to stop.” Immediately, start drawing up her arm. Obviously, she’ll tell the mouse to stop right away – she doesn’t want an arm full of ink, after all – so stop. Follow this up by having the “dumb mouse” race. Using the same process, have her tell you when he should stop. Start drawing and, once again, she’ll immediately tell you to stop. Finally, it’s time to race the “deaf mouse”. Start drawing up her arm and, once again, she’ll tell you to stop. But this time, don’t. Instead continue drawing up her arm.

If she gets the joke, she should start laughing at this silly, stupid little joke. The point isn’t that it’s funny, but that it’s fun. And if she doesn’t understand the joke, let her know. “Deaf mice can’t hear you tell them to stop!” She’ll start laughing at both the stupidity of the joke and that she wasn’t able to put that together on her own. And then, you’re off.

Remember, forget about funny. Just be fun!

For now, take it back to the playground.