[Bobby Rio is a regular contributor to BG in the area of social dynamics and dating, and you can check out Make Small Talk Sexy, his secrets for escalating boring conversations into engaging, sexual conversations.]
Most guys spend their entire lives asking "What do you say to start a conversation with a girl?"
What if I told you it was a lot simpler than you think?
Actually, there are really only three possible ways to initiate a conversation with a woman. So, it just comes down to deciding which approach you're most comfortable with - and then refining it until it works for you.
Here are the three methods of initiating conversations with women:
1. Indirect Openers
This is the method made famous by the book "The Game."
An "indirect opener" is simply a way of starting a conversation with a woman that gives her no indication that you are trying to pick her up. A very basic example of this is "Do you know what time it is?"
This method is used to go in "under the radar." The theory behind this is that by going in "under the radar" the woman will not immediately reject you. And this leaves you time to build attraction while her guard is down.
The best "indirect" openers start the conversation with "girl friendly" topics. By starting a conversation with a girl friendly topic such as pop culture, drama, or relationships, the girl is much more likely to get engaged in the conversation more quickly.
My favorite indirect opener is: "Do drunk 'I love you's' count?"
This works so well because it is a topic that women LOVE debating. So the minute you introduce it into the conversation they completely forget that you're "hitting" on them.
Who this works best for: This style of starting a conversation with a woman works best for the guy who fears rejection.
2. Direct Openers
This is the method made famous by guys like James Bond.
A "direct opener" is simply walking up to a woman and being up front about your intentions. A basic example of an indirect opener is "You are really cute and I wanted to come over here and talk to you."
This method is higher risk than "indirect" because it immediately lets a woman know your intention. But with great risk comes great reward. Women are often attracted to the confidence they see in a man who can be to be so direct with her.
The best "direct" openers are delivered with a cool, calm, and confident poise. In fact, confidence is essential to this way of opening a woman.
If a woman senses any fear, nervousness, or hesitation as you say it.. you will come off as insecure instead of dominant and "alpha."
My favorite direct opener: "You are really cute in a dorky sort of way..."
Who this works best for: Guys who are extremely confident and self assured.
3. Situational Humor
This is a method made famous by most romantic comedies.
Starting a conversation with a woman using humor is a really easy way to break the ice. This can be as simple as making a joke about the type of cereal a woman is buying in Whole Foods.
This method is great because it allows you start the interaction with a fun and flirty and vibe. It also gives the woman the feeling of "spontaneity."
The downside to this method is that often you spend way too long trying to find something funny to say... and lose your chance to talk to her.
Situational Humor Example: (Girl brushes her hand against your butt accidentally) "Did you just grab my ass?"
Who this works best for: Guys who are naturally fun and playful. It also works best for guys who can think on their feet.
So there you go...
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