As the holidays come to an end and the New Year rolls around, we’re all faced with the same thing: we want more from our lives.
If you haven’t got your dating life sorted out yet, you need to take action now. If you don’t, every time you see a beautiful woman walk past you and you don’t say anything to her, the regret will eat away at your soul.
The biggest mistake that men make with women is not having a game plan. You need a game plan for dating as for everything else in life. So let’s look at some pointers for getting better at dating this year.
1. Figure out exactly what your ideal dating life is. I meet clients every week who tell me they want to get good with women, but I ask them, “What does that mean to you?”
For some, it means sleeping with a variety of women in low-commitment relationships. For some, it means finding that one, special girl. For some, it just means being able to approach any woman they want, anywhere and anytime.
Figure it out and write it down. Stick in on your wall. Write it on your iPhone. Find some way to keep it at the forefront of your mind as what you’re working towards on a daily basis.
2. Devise a strategy to achieve those goals. In order to achieve your ultimate goal, you need to figure out a good route there.
If you want more women in your life, then you’ll need to be making lots of approaches. If it’s higher quality women or that special girl you’re after, then you need to be screening more thoroughly for girlfriend criteria. If it’s a certain type of situation you like to meet women in (whether it’s the daytime, a bar or a social event), then figure out a plan to get into these situations as often as possible.
When I decided to get good with women, I realized I would need to be going out a lot to do it. I rented an apartment right in the centre of town, figured out the local day and nightspots that were full of good-looking women, and started going to them regularly.
3. Seek Mentors. You need people who are better with women than you to guide you.
This site is great for that. You also have the live training we do at Love Systems (formerly known as The Mystery Method). When you take a program with us, we become your mentors.
Either way, you need to be inspired by and emulate others who are already good at dating. Seek them out, train with them, befriend them, and absorb their wisdom.
4. Seek Peers. As well as mentors, you need people who are at your level that you can spend time hanging out with and being your wingmen.
People often find it easier to work towards things when they have other people doing the same with them (that’s why gym classes are so popular). It’s the same with dating.
Your peers will help you with the burdens and frustrations you face as you strive to work on your dating life and will be there to share your successes with too.
5. Keep a journal. Keep a record somewhere of the work you’re putting into your dating life, your feelings on how it’s going, and an honest appraisal of whether you’re meeting the targets you set yourself.
It’s your choice whether you keep a private journal or put it somewhere public (like a dating forum). If it’s the latter, you might build a following with your exploits, or even have other people to hold you accountable for making sure you achieve what you set out to.
I used to write a journal a few years back when I first started working on my dating life. Even now, after all this time, sometimes I’ll look at it and suddenly remember how far I’ve come since then. It’s a great way to store memories of events too. After all, it’s the journey and not the destination that makes everything so interesting.
- Jeremy Soul
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