How Travelling Helps You with Girls

Back in August, Soul and I were discussing travelling and how it helps your game. I have been fortunate enough to do quite a bit of travelling while I was at University, but this was before I knew about game. In 2009, my game has exploded – thanks mainly to hanging out with Mr M, Braddock, Daxx and of course Soul. Earlier this year I quit my well paying office job in the UK and bought a one-way ticket to Asia, without too much of a plan. Since then I’ve learned more about game, and people in general, than I could ever have imagined. My goal in this article is to share some of my experiences and encourage you to get out there and see the world for yourself.

What is travelling actually like?

Like I said in my previous article, when I’m talking about travelling, I am referring to extended trips usually with a backpack and very small budget. This isn’t about gaming girls on vacation at Spring Break or anything like that. This year, my stomping grounds have mostly been around South East Asia – Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. These countries are great to travel around, even with a limited budget. Transport is easy and, for the most part, everything is very safe.

You stay in hostels or guesthouses (budget hotels), usually for less than $10 per night. This is not 5 star, in fact it usually isn’t any stars! Some hostels have kitchens where you can cook your own food. Depending on which part of the world you are in, it may be cheaper just to eat at restaurants all the time. In Asia this is certainly the case! A local meal can cost 50cents and a burger with fries is usually $2 or more. Generally speaking beer is very cheap, and often very strong, so pace yourself!

You can spend the daytime doing any number of activities from scuba diving to bungee jumping. There are hundreds of amazing tourist sites that you can check out as well. I have been fortunate enough to visit some truly amazing places, however travelling is so much more than this. I remember going to see the Great Wall of China, which was great. However, I went out that night in Beijing with some really cool people and had a blast. For me, the night out was better than the Wall. It is this social aspect of travelling that really can propel your game to the next level.

Why it helps your game

At home, most of us have jobs and other commitments that keep us busy. Even if your workplace is a very sociable environment, it can’t compare to travelling. Being in social situations almost 24/7 really changes how your behaviours and more importantly, your confidence. I used to like having a few hours at home just to chill, but recently I’ve noticed that I now avoid doing this as much as possible in favour of hanging out with friends. It also means that I’m constantly in that social mood and I no longer have to “turn it on” when I go into a bar.

For some people, this may be quite far outside of your comfort zone. A popular personality categorization tool called Myers Briggs, attempts to categorize people as having introverted preferences or extroverted preferences. What you don’t often get told is that these preferences are mostly learned behaviours. I can assure you that given enough time, even the quietest individuals can become a socialite. Travel will constantly put you in this position, as there are always hundreds of people all around you looking to make friends with practically anyone.

This also means that there are hundreds of girls looking to hook up, which is never a bad thing! During the day, it’s not as charged as a Spring Break or Ibiza atmosphere, but the girls you meet are normally a lot more fun and interesting to hang out with. When you go out at night, particularly in the large cities, you will of course have a fantastic bar/club scene just like at home. Where travelling stands out, is that you get to hang out with all of these girls during the daytime too. This makes hooking up at night much easier and allows you to build massive social proof before you even get to a bar. All this time you are having fun, doing cool activities and seeing amazing sights.

Don’t think that you need to be a Day Game master to pull this off either. While travelling, approaching girls during the day is very common for anyone, not just guys with game. There is a sort of “foreign people band together” type attitude. Imagine being in a city with 25 million people who don’t speak English. It’s very common to go and talk to other travellers, and it is also common for them to approach you. This doesn’t mean you should stop doing direct day game approaches or anything like that, it simply means that each day you will likely meet several cool people without doing anything.

Another great thing about travelling is that logistics are usually very good. People tend to gravitate towards the same hostels or the same general area. This makes it much easier than in London or New York, where everyone likes an hour away from the club. Also, taxis are very cheap – picture around $5 for a 30 minute cab ride. And if all else fails, there is always the beach!

Why you should do it

Aside from having a great time, travelling unquestionably helps you to improve your game. This is true both in reference experiences plus having the chance to see plenty of naturals in action. It also gets guys away from talking pickup with their “wings” all night.

Travel is a great thing to put on your CV or for College/University applications. It demonstrates to employers that you are a worldly person that understands different cultures. If also provides numerous experiences to recall in answering many interview questions – I got a job offer once that was 90% based on my story about being stranded in Tokyo with no money.

It provides a great number of true experiences that you can recall in future when picking up girls. If you like story telling then one trip will provide a goldmine of content. Some of my worst experiences have turned out to be my best stories so don’t fret if things don’t always go to plan.

3 things you can do to dramatically improve success

1. Stay where the crowds stay, and nowhere else. Pick up a Lonely Planet guidebook and look for a hostel/guesthouse in the budget section that specifically mentions a friendly atmosphere, social lounge/tv area, group trips or a happy hour bar scene. These places attract a larger number of people. My friend and I found a great guesthouse for about $14 a night (in total) that had air con, TV and a pool. But there was nobody else staying there. The next place we stayed in was the same price but had considerably less amenities. However they had 20cents beers at happy hour and there were always dozens of people hanging out, even at 4am in the morning. Don’t worry about staying in rubbish accommodation as you will be spending most of the day outside anyway.
2. Talk to everyone, even those you wouldn’t normally speak to. Guys, girls, it doesn’t matter. You have to be as sociable as possible to everyone. You never know who is going to introduce you to their hot female friend or who you will bump into in the next country you visit. This is partially about building social proof, but equally about making connections. The quiet guy that wasn’t talking to anyone could show you a great bar you didn’t know existed. The ugly girl in the swimming pool could introduce you to the girl of your dreams. The married couple could introduce you to an important future business contact. The point is, don’t assign value to someone without talking to them for a reasonable amount of time. You are in a different environment and pigeon holing people based on past experiences won’t work out so well – you will be a much poor judge of value when interacting with foreign cultures.
3. Sexualize and state your intent. The downside to meeting loads of girls during the day is that you often find yourself heading towards the friend zone. The opposite is that you are that weird guy who hits on every girl in the hostel before lunch. Night time is by far the best time to crank up the heat on this, but you have to ensure that you keep this option open during the day. You have to calibrate this, but DO generate attraction during the day. Take small steps forward and keep taking steps forward. You will find yourself having conversations about where you are from/what you do etc which many instructors tell you to avoid when in a bar. It is fine to do this during the day, so long as you are aware that you must build attraction. Think of it as a leaking tap slowly filling up the attraction cup. It’s not a highly noticeable like some flash club game, but both you and the girl are aware on some level that its going on.

What are you waiting for?

It’s easy to find an excuse not to go travelling, but you should really think through your options before writing it off. If you are a student, then summer time is the perfect time to go travelling. Better still, you can take a gap year before or after college. Round the world tickets (which let you stop in any country you want to) are very affordable now too. Long haul airline flights are generally very cheap if you book far enough in advance.

For those of you with jobs, many corporations allow you to take up to a year out of work and come back to your job upon returning. You must usually have severed with a company for 2 or 3 years before this is allowed. Your career is effectively on freeze for a year, meaning you don’t get paid but also can’t get laid-off. You may find yourself in a much better position when you return with newly found confidence having had one of the best experiences of your life.

In closing, get out there and do it! The only person you need permission from is yourself. I promise you, any travel experience will change your life.

Mark W.